No Manual, No Script: A Real Fatherhood Conversation with Adarius ‘Dee’ Adams

Featuring Trey (father of 8), Ron (father of 2 + grandfather of 1), and Chris (father of 5)
Special Guest: Adarius “Dee” Adams - father, creator, and co-host of Dads With No Skript

On our second episode- dropping Thanksgiving Day- we sit down with our first official guest, Adarius “Dee” Adams, a father of two, oldest of seven, entrepreneur, creator, and a man who has lived enough chapters for ten lives.

For nearly two decades, Dee has balanced fatherhood, two divorces, running a home & car customization business, and 21 years in the power industry. His journey walks through responsibility, reinvention, and showing up as a man even when life throws the manual away.

In this raw, funny, and honest conversation, we dig into:

• Growing up as the oldest of seven
• Being raised by his dad and supported by two step-mothers
• Lessons learned from marriage, co-parenting, and divorce
• How fitness became therapy
• Why he started Dads With No Skript
• Building confidence by “doing it scared”
• Leadership, legacy, and fatherhood without a blueprint

Dee lives by the motto:
“Dee don’t know what he be doing, but he gonna do it anyway.”
And after this episode… you’ll understand exactly why that energy is needed in fatherhood and in life.

Tap in, laugh, think, and get ready for a powerful Thanksgiving drop.

Subscribe & follow Ain’t No Manual for more real conversations about fatherhood, family, growth, and men stepping into who they truly are.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 0:08

All right, we are back. I feel like we're veterans at this point. Ain't no manual podcast episode The Dad Hustle. This is a special episode. This is the hustle. Gotta hustle, man. But let's start off with who we are. I'm Trey. I'm Chris. I'm Ron. And we have a great guest today. Hustler of the year, bro. This evening. Hustler of the year. The man, the myth, the one and only.

SPEAKER_04: 0:33

D. D. What up, bro? What up, bro? Glad to have you. I appreciate y'all having me on today, man. No problem.

SPEAKER_01: 0:40

We've known you forever, man. For a long time. But I'm gonna let you introduce yourself. What do you want the people to know a little bit about yourself?

SPEAKER_04: 0:49

Man, um I'm a dad of two. Okay. Uh 16-year-old boy, 10-year-old girl. Okay. And I'm just trying to figure it out, man. Like you said, ain't no man, you know. No man too, right? No man. Figure it out together. We're gonna figure it out together, man.

SPEAKER_02: 1:04

I think when we talked about this episode, like you were like the first person that came to mind. We was like, yo, we gotta get D on. You know what I'm saying? To pick his brain. Because I don't know how he does what he does in a 24-hour span, right? Right. Like maybe I'll see him working out at 8 a.m., working from 9 to 5, changing the attire at 5 o'clock, like nothing. Putting up TVs. I think you might have put up that TV. I did do this TV. Yeah, it's crazy.

SPEAKER_01: 1:30

But then you screwed. Now you got this social media presence, which is crazy. That's a job in itself. I don't know. Do you edit everything yourself? Yeah. Man, that don't make no sense. That don't make no sense. I forgot you do content creation. That's crazy. So how do you juggle all of this? Like, what's up with that?

SPEAKER_04: 1:46

So with my job or what have you, I'm a supervisor.

SPEAKER_01: 1:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04: 1:49

So most of the time, you know, when I'm done with, you know, giving the guys their duties or what have you, you know, I might be able to, you know, do something to, you know, uh edit the uh content or whatever. Okay. No, I do it to where I can't, when I'm when I'm recording, I do it to where I don't have to edit as much. It's almost like a one-tape for me. Gotcha. One take shot. Like Jay-Z. You like Jay-Z of the concentration world.

SPEAKER_01: 2:14

So what kind of boss are you? Like, I know you got a football background and everything. What kind of boss are you? Right.

SPEAKER_04: 2:19

Man, I'm real laid back, man, but sometimes they get you in trouble, though. You know what I'm saying? Like, you being laid back, you know. They take advantage of that. Yeah, yeah. Sometimes you gotta go in space. The air hoes get the get the most, you know. I'm in that space, so I definitely understand what you're saying. Yeah, man.

SPEAKER_02: 2:32

Sometimes you might gotta go kick a chair every now and then just to try to get out of here. Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah. That's why I'm in the gym all the time, man.

SPEAKER_04: 2:38

Stay in the gym. Yeah, take the frustration out on the weights, man.

SPEAKER_01: 2:41

Yeah, we gotta talk about that too. So you're coming off an injury. See, I pay attention, I seen a lot. You coming off an injury, and it like you jumped right back in it. Like it was no learning curve or anything. You just got back into it. What what motivates you to keep going and doing it?

SPEAKER_04: 2:56

Well, the crazy thing is when I uh when I got injured, you know, I had the boot on when I when I did uh you called me for the work. I had injured myself like two days prior to that. I blew my Achilles up.

SPEAKER_01: 3:07

I thought you were gonna sue me when you re-injured it.

SPEAKER_04: 3:10

Yeah, I injured it. I I I ripped it even more. Yeah. So I I I felt it and hurt it. But he's like, man, you you can you can come back another day. I was like, man, I'm I'm determined to get it done and just get it going, man. But I just feel like, you know, it's it's people that don't have, you know, limbs or whatever the case may be in it and they and they making it happen, you know what I'm saying? I'm I'm able bodies, so I'm gonna try to do what I can do to, you know, keep things going or what happened.

SPEAKER_01: 3:38

Man, I need that to rub off on me, because it's days where I'm like, hey, I just had a cheesecake last night. I ain't getting up to do no hour workout. I mean, just chill and regroup. I ain't working out. At 39, how old are you?

SPEAKER_03: 3:50

I'm 41.

SPEAKER_01: 3:51

See, you making us look bad. We not even 40 yet. Nah, for real.

SPEAKER_02: 3:55

Hey, I ain't working out, bro. Nah, I ain't working out, bro. That comes from a special place, man. I'm natural. But speaking of hustling, you're hustling your own right, bro. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_01: 4:04

My hustle, it came from something before me. So I get to, I had, I had the opportunity to watch somebody before me, and it's like innate. Yeah. You know, it wasn't, a lot of this isn't work. A lot of this isn't like I had to train myself and start from the beginning, and I didn't know some of this stuff. It's like, it just comes second nature.

SPEAKER_04: 4:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 4:23

But what was it like for you?

SPEAKER_04: 4:25

Man, uh just watching my pops, man. My pops is like, that's my hero, dog. Like watching him get up, hustle every day, and just make sure everybody good, man. Right. And not complain not once, you know. Like, that's that was my that's that was my hero, dog.

SPEAKER_02: 4:40

And that kind of same tongue soaking of mine, like, pops work two jobs as a firefighter. Like, if he wasn't working at the firefight, fire station, he was at the working at the hotel. Right. It was breeding horses, like my dad just kind of did a little bit of everything. You know what I'm saying? I think that, like, I always say, like, me and you talk a lot. I always talk about like our kids are kind of like a product of what what they see us do, right? That's true. So, like, my kids just by nature, they they play basketball, play football, do all these things just because the older kid did it and they're there. So they just kind of trickle down. They're just a product of what they see.

SPEAKER_00: 5:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 5:10

So we we gotta give pops. We gotta talk about pops. Oh yeah, yeah. Like, I I was I had a chance to grow up and be a witness to him, and like, he, you know, he had kind of a military way of doing things, but it worked. They may be different from us. Our fathers come from different backgrounds, all of our fathers come from different backgrounds, but I want to make sure we highlight your pop. You know, I love him. Uh, I really highly respect him. Like, what was it like growing up?

SPEAKER_03: 5:37

My dad was tough, but the older I got, I understood why he was that tough. His motto was always, the world is not gonna care about you. It's not gonna show no sympathy. So I think one of my like fondest memories was when I probably was maybe seven or eight. He used to cut grass. We had a big yard. And I went out there and I wanted to cut grass because obviously I wanted to emulate him.

SPEAKER_02: 6:05

Right.

SPEAKER_03: 6:05

And um, I wasn't even tall enough to push it because he's over the line more, right? But I think, but he let me do it.

SPEAKER_00: 6:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 6:13

And my grandma would come out there and say, you know, he's too little for that or whatever, and my dad would say, like, nah, just let him keep trying. Like, let him keep fighting. And I think that I think it's four things, words that your kids want to hear from you. And that's I'm proud of you. Right, yeah. So like I think a lot of things that we do, um we try to get recognition from the world, but what we're really doing it for is the people that's closest to us, because those are the people that can really hurt us, help us. Right, right, right. And that's why we do it. And my dad used to be, I mean, he would work really hard, come home, I have a baseball game the next day, and I know he's dead tired and work 10, 12 hours, and he would still like muster up the energy to go out there and throw the baseball with me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, so I think it's just about balance. Yeah, he was tough, but and it's funny now because he like a teddy bear now. He's so soft, you know what I'm saying? So soft with the girl. But I'm proud of him though, for just the man that he became and still is. The hard work he put in and it designate, it definitely designates, res resonates with me and sometimes you get sometimes, but my son is the same way. He works hard. He doesn't always make necessarily the best decisions, but that's just him growing.

SPEAKER_01: 7:38

You know, but he does work hard. Yeah, work right now. We know how we were at uh 21. So I think they gotta leg up on us. Like they're doing better than what we were doing back then. We was just wild all over the place. Yeah. So what's the dynamic with you and your kids?

SPEAKER_04: 7:52

Oh man, so my Shout him out. Shout out my son Aiden. And man, he he makes me real proud, man. I I I think from first grade to eighth grade, man, we had just like issues in school to where, you know, he wasn't, I knew it was in him, but he wasn't focused. So before his ninth grade year, we had a long talk, and it clicked to him like, mm. So I told him, hey, ninth grade year starts off everything for you. It's the it's the foundation for the right. If you mess up ninth grade year, you forever be behind. Right. And going into the 11th grade, yeah. He's in his 11th grade year, he's doing great, man. Yeah. Yeah, been on the roll every year.

SPEAKER_02: 8:31

So we talked about, we just talked about um, he's a hustler too. Oh yeah, yeah. He's thinking candy and drinks, nice.

SPEAKER_04: 8:38

He makes his own cookies and juices and stuff. That's cool. So he gets it in, man. Yeah, but look who he's watching though.

SPEAKER_01: 8:44

You know what I'm saying? He should have put in an order before we started.

SPEAKER_04: 8:48

I'm hungry. He definitely would have got you right, huh? Yeah, what about your daughter? Then my daughter, man, she's 10 and she's just great, dawg. Like, she is everything. Uh she's she's my my twin. Yeah. Or what have you done? She looks you like it.

SPEAKER_02: 9:00

You could you could deny if you tried to, bro.

SPEAKER_04: 9:02

Yeah, she gets it in, man. She's smart in school, she likes to read, she'll dance, tea talk, whatever. But I just I try to distribute the time between the two. Um, my son, he's with me full time, and then my daughter, you know, you get that dad schedule or what have you, you know, every other weekend, which I would like for her to be more, but I mean, you know, it happens. Right, but right. I mean, you know, just just watching them grow up, man, that's the best thing to meet her. That's the best thing I could have ever done. You know what I'm saying? Is be there from day one. You go in the house, you be in the house with them from, you know, all the time, and then you go from splitting time, and that's that's like the hardest thing. That's the whole thing or whatever. Yeah, that transition.

SPEAKER_02: 9:44

That transition is always a a sticky one because you're trying to figure out the relationship between you and you know, mom or just like whatever, and then you're still trying to keep the same relationship you had with the kids. So that's always one of those tricky situations.

SPEAKER_01: 9:55

Yeah, man. So I know you got your main job, what you do. I know you can't take your kids with you when you're doing that part. But do they often go with you when like you're doing your side hustle?

SPEAKER_04: 10:05

Yeah, yeah. Like my son, man. I remember just carrying him in the carrier, doing jobs and stuff or what have you. And then he got older and folks, like, where your kid at? And you know, I bring them and he takes all this snacks, so they they remember him well or what have you. My daughter will, she'll go with me every now and then to do work or what have you, you know. So they see me hustle or what have you. So, I mean, hopefully it stays with them, you know. You gotta work for everything you get.

SPEAKER_02: 10:31

You probably instilled that in them already, not even realizing you did, you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_04: 10:34

Yeah, yeah, most definitely.

SPEAKER_01: 10:36

So we won't answer this on camera, but we're gonna put you on the spot. You got a favorite?

SPEAKER_04: 10:41

Man.

SPEAKER_02: 10:41

We all got a favorite, but we know you got a favorite.

SPEAKER_04: 10:43

Well, the thing is, man, they they they gravitate to me, they gravitate to me differently, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah. And my daughter, she gravitates me to me more now that she's growing up than my son does. But favorite, man, I try to split it between the two, man. Yeah. Great answer. Great answer. Keep it real neutral, bro. Keep it real neutral, man. You know, but you know, like I said, my my daughter, she'll, she's down with my shenanigans. Yeah, okay. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_02: 11:12

So I do see she can do a lot of content with you on your TikTok and all that.

SPEAKER_04: 11:17

AD don't be with that. No, he don't be with it no more, bro. I can tell my metal, just cool, laying back. I don't want to be like, No Mellow, yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 11:24

They get in that mode, though.

SPEAKER_03: 11:25

At that age. Yeah, that cool mode.

SPEAKER_01: 11:27

So when it's all said and done, I'm not even gonna say when you retire, when you're sitting back in your rocking chair, your recliner, how do you want them to talk about you when you're not around? And you want to be remembered. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04: 11:38

The legacies. My dad worked for everything he got. Okay. And he made sure we didn't go without. Yeah. That's just from mentally, physically, you know, emotionally, you know, and try to make sure never dump for them through those times or what happened. Because, you know, you never, you never want them to go outside the house to get that energy or whatever. Exactly, exactly. So they know what exactly what it looks like.

SPEAKER_01: 12:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04: 12:04

You know.

SPEAKER_01: 12:05

I put a lot of focus with my daughters, like taking them everywhere. Yeah. Every country, every spending as much money, because I want them when they get out there, it's like, you're gonna have to have some some you're gonna have to come with people to have some high expectations. And that's the same for my sons. Like, when you going out here and you working with people or dealing with people, I want you to have very high expectations. That's not being uppity, that's not being on a high pedestal. That should be the norm. Like, yeah, absolutely. You want to know that you've had the best and you want to continue to receive the best. So that that's that's part of my goal, man. But you hit on them.

SPEAKER_04: 12:38

I'm going broke, but I mean, but they get what they're doing.

SPEAKER_03: 12:42

They get what they but you hit on something good though, because I see a lot of parents that like are afraid to take their kids with them on trips. They dump them off on their auntie or their grandma. Like, take them kids with you on the trip. Yeah, yeah, let them see the world too.

SPEAKER_01: 12:55

You think now they want to see London too. I promise you, it's less expensive. Groupon. It's less expensive though. You end up spending on daycare, on food, and on all this stuff. I end up spending less when my kids travel with me. Yeah. And especially the baby girls, like, it doesn't cost anything. They're gonna eat a cheese sandwich and this and that. And that's about it. But paying daycare, paying all that child care, it ends up being more, and then I'm nervous the whole time. So I can't enjoy myself. Right. Yeah, I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing. That's real. Yeah, I love to take them with me. They get on my nerves, but I'd rather have them with me.

SPEAKER_02: 13:35

Ah, but then but you're showing them a certain way of life, you know what I'm saying? It's like my daughter, she's a Valentine's baby. So like we yeah, so we should like ain't no one gift, bro. Like, she's gonna know this is my Valentine's gift, it's my birthday gift. Hey, bro, don't come with this one gift, talk about it both. You know what I'm saying? So me and my wife, we cut that out early. Like, nah, we're gonna, this is your Valentine, this is your birthday. If a dude trying to give you one, hey, we out of that. He ain't worth our time. Yeah, because that it's two different things. It should be celebrated separately. You know what I'm saying? Don't like you Christmas, baby. You get one gift. It's your Christmas and your birthday. Nah, bro. I ain't yeah, I ain't with it. You gotta give me two.

SPEAKER_03: 14:11

You know what's so cringy with y'all with the whole light win a guy thing. I'm not there yet. But hey, look. I ain't done. But hey, but we we giving you the we give you the playbook. We give you the playbook early. We give you get the playbook early. I can't even imagine though. I can't, I don't want to talk about that. Nah, for real though. But I don't, I don't, she, I, that's my baby, bro. Like, I can't even like think about that.

unknown: 14:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 14:40

I know that's weird. That's weird. I get it. It's tough.

SPEAKER_02: 14:44

It's tough, but I mean it's the reality, bro.

SPEAKER_04: 14:46

I think the the biggest thing with me, with my daughter, is like shivering. Like, you you show her that, right? So my daughter, she'll she'll stand at a door. She'll wait on you to open the door. Ain't that wrong with that? My aunt told me one time, she was like, she came with me and she was like, she was just standing at the door, she was like, baby, I don't open up the doors. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like, you gotta show them the simple stuff. It's just the simple stuff. Yeah, I have to do that.

SPEAKER_02: 15:11

And that goes, it ties back to like watching you hustle and watching you do what we do what we do and watching us work and grind. Like our daughter see that. Like, nah, this is what a man should, this is what my dad did. Yeah. So this is what I'm looking for for you to be doing. And we gotta treat, you gotta do it. You sit on your butt, you know what I'm saying, playing video games and robe, whatever they be doing.

SPEAKER_04: 15:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 15:29

Nah, you gotta get up and make it happen, just like my dad did, and his friends and my uncles, you know what I'm saying? They see all that. So you kind of just set the tone for all that with your daughters, man.

SPEAKER_01: 15:38

But how tough is that balance though? Like, because I know you're hustling hard. Like, how do you balance really going in, making this money, continuing your businesses, and then coming back and being that emotional provider? Like that, being there physically too. Like, I I know how it is for me, but Bro, it's rough.

SPEAKER_04: 15:55

Like, it ain't, I don't really think you can find a balance balance, you know what I'm saying? You're gonna miss some stuff, you know what I'm saying? But at the end of the day, like I try to make sure I'm at them school functions. Yeah. I'm in their face showing them that, you know, I have some kind of presence, you know what I'm saying? And sometimes you're gonna miss some stuff, man, but you let them know, hey, look, and they'll understand once they get older. Yeah, yeah. You know what I'm saying? But right now, I'm still trying to figure it out. You know what I'm saying? I'm almost 17 years in. You know what I'm saying? But you know.

SPEAKER_01: 16:26

I made a comment before, I ain't going to no PTA. I stand by that. You said that. You said that. You said that off camera. Now you saying that on camera, but I still think I'm gonna come back and bite you, bro. But no, I'm gonna I'm gonna clarify that. Like, I do give some money for the PTA functions and stuff. Like, I do like it. You ain't going to the T. I talk to the teachers through email. Yeah. I'm not going to no PTA meeting. Like, it's out the bro. I feel like I'm justified for not going. I ain't gonna I ain't gonna hold you. I've been the one either. Okay, see, I know I ain't the only one. But I ain't gonna say it. I mean, I've been there one white T. I gotta explain all the time. I've been there.

SPEAKER_04: 17:02

I don't go to every PTA meeting, but I've been no I go to I go to orientation stuff because I want to know what's going on. I want to meet the T. But they're different from PTA normally.

SPEAKER_01: 17:12

I do the emails and stuff. But the PTA wants you to really be in the gonna put you on a committee, you don't even know you're on the city.

SPEAKER_04: 17:19

You definitely gonna be on the committee. No, you're gonna be on something. You definitely gonna be on the community. You're gonna be making it.

SPEAKER_02: 17:22

They say you know you you doing the baked goods, you gotta read it. Now you're a part of the city.

SPEAKER_03: 17:28

And you on field trips. Nah, yeah, now you're on field duty.

SPEAKER_04: 17:31

You never but y'all never been on the field trips.

SPEAKER_03: 17:35

Sometimes the field trip be good, though. No, I'm gonna tell you the worst thing about the duty. That'd be all right, man. The worst thing about field trips is riding the bus.

SPEAKER_01: 17:41

Like riding riding the bus. I don't like riding the bus. I'm following. Like I ain't riding the bus, bro. But see, I'm in transportation, so I've provided the bus. Right. Sometimes like I am the bus. I am the bus.

unknown: 17:53

I am the bus.

SPEAKER_01: 17:55

That makes sense, though. They wouldn't have got there if I didn't provide.

SPEAKER_03: 17:57

I done had fun in some of them field trips, man.

SPEAKER_04: 17:59

I mean, the field trip is bro, is just dealing with other people. The kids. Oh, yeah, they do.

SPEAKER_01: 18:05

I feel like one hit on me or something like that.

SPEAKER_02: 18:08

See, hey, but that's the thing. Like, you get on these field trips, you get the worst kid in the building in the world.

SPEAKER_03: 18:14

And then they clean to you. He's climbing on top of the shit. Look at it another way, though. Look at another way. Look at how your kid look at it too. Yeah. They look at it like I got my hero with me. I got, you know, they're gonna get extra, you know, they're gonna get a better lunch. You know, you're gonna walk them up.

SPEAKER_02: 18:27

Yeah, we ain't doing that.

SPEAKER_03: 18:28

We ain't doing no school lunch. You definitely go up to the uh store and get the souvenir. I ain't doing no souvenirs. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_02: 18:39

So we went to Orlando one time, like like a motherfucker. Motherfucking souvenirs. I don't know. Bro, I trying to be nice. It's like a cup, like a dinosaur cup with everybody. My daughter, like, I want the dinosaur cup. Yeah, go ahead and get it. Pour that out. No, we don't pour that out. Give me a cup, and we don't want that real.

SPEAKER_04: 18:57

I draw a cup.

SPEAKER_01: 19:00

So let's think outside of the hustle, outside of the hustle side of it. I want to talk about, you know, we talk about what our fathers did and how they instilled the hustle. Right. But is there anything else you can draw from that? Like, what else did your father instill that you have instilled in your kids? Something that sticks out. Like, well, I can say the emotional side of it.

SPEAKER_02: 19:20

For me, for me, like, it's just my this, you know, all this was a little different. So my dad, he did work. Like, he he was gonna make sure we had a roof over our head, he was gonna make sure we had food, all that. But he wasn't so much involved in my sports life. You know what I'm saying? Like, his hustle kind of took away from him spending that time with us. So I see what you're doing. So you feel me? I see what you're doing. So me, I'm the exact opposite. You the coach. You know what I'm saying? I'm gonna be there, I'm gonna coach him, like I'm I'm gonna teach him, I'ma train him. I ain't missing games, I ain't missing practices, because I I know how being one of the best players on the field or on the court and then looking up, and I get to the house, he's sleep. Just because he's been working all night. Which I got. You know what I'm saying? But still, like I don't care if I'm working a 24-hour shift on hour 25, they got a game.

SPEAKER_04: 20:08

Yeah, red bull, me.

SPEAKER_02: 20:09

Hey, give me a red bull and I'm at the game. I get my rest after. But sometimes I know that hustle, you know, it'll take that. You know, you miss some stuff just because you're tired. But hey, ain't no tired for me. Like, I'm gonna do the exact opposite. So that's why I'm so involved in my kids' life like that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 20:28

See, most of my kids they done gave up on sports, so I ain't mad at that. Like, I'm like, he stay in the books, you know, and that's that's during the day and during the week, and then on the weekend, we chilling, you know. One son plays football, and you know, they put him at lineman, so I don't know how long that's gonna last.

SPEAKER_00: 20:46

I'm cool with that.

SPEAKER_01: 20:47

Like, I ain't I ain't like, hey, keep going extra hard. Yeah, yeah. Pay attention in the books. Let's learn the other side. How can you be an owner one day? Yeah, that's our approach. Because I'm like, you know, I played sports, but I never took it to the extent that I was about to go to the league. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 21:02

I think, I think for me, well, my dad instilled in me that I instilled in my son was just to be yourself.

SPEAKER_01: 21:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 21:10

Um that's dope. I mean, you can see now in the media and what's going on. I'm not gonna hit on anything, but it's all about people just not being themselves. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's true. I mean, some people gonna like you, some people not. But as long as you're true to yourself, man, like you can't go wrong. Plus, it's too much work trying to be somebody else. That's it. So if you're goofy, be goofy. You know what I mean? If you're a leader, natural leader, be a leader. You can always work on things that you're not good at, but your your core as a person should never change too much. You know, especially not to fit in somewhere.

SPEAKER_01: 21:45

But that yeah, that's gonna hurt you in the long run. When we talk about mental health at points, like we're gonna discuss that. Like, trying to be somebody else is gonna hurt you so much. Like, and it's so much fakeness to that. Yeah, and you don't you get so caught up in that, you don't even realize who you are as a person. You'll get so lost up in the world. Yeah, so that that's that's that's a big one. That's a big one.

SPEAKER_04: 22:05

Yeah, even with you know, my dad, I try to instill with my kids, you know, like the emotional part, you know what I'm saying? Making sure they they're able to voice their opinion. Because I come on, you couldn't voice your opinion. Yeah, you'll probably it is what it is, you know. But I try to you know let them be, you know, themselves and you know, you ain't gonna be disrespectful to me, but you know what I'm saying. You're gonna let me know how you feel. And we we can we can navigate through it, you know what I'm saying? That's that that gentle parents and things.

SPEAKER_03: 22:32

That's good though, because I think that's just like our pop's generation, which is more stuff. That's how they were raised. You can't talk when they talking, even if they wrong, they right. But we gotta change that because these kids are now growing up with emotional issues with things that's going on. And you know, all you know, all the doctors want to do is put them on medicine or gimmick, but sometimes all they need is for somebody to just listen to them. Yep, yeah. So talk it up. That's a good yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 23:00

But a big thing for me too, like, I don't know if we really dove into it, but I push my kids to make them mistakes, you know. And I don't know if it's because they were around my father and they saw a lot of the groups we were in, they thought they couldn't make mistakes. Right. So I'm always telling them, like, go out there and mess up. Like, try a million different things until you figure out what really works for you. Right. But my son, my oldest one, he come to me and he, I mean, in tears, like he would say, I don't think y'all are proud of me. I don't think this and that. I have to be like, son, I'm I'm more than proud of you. Because one, you ain't got no kid at my age, the age I had, that's number one. You are not a good thing. You made it. But but two, the only time I'm not gonna be proud of you is if you not trying. If you're you're just standing still, not doing anything and expecting everybody to do for you. Right. And then you're so scared to go out there and sit say who you are and be who you are. That's when I'm gonna struggle with being proud. But you he's never done that. None of my other kids have ever done that. And I could, but I have to make sure I tell them that. Absolutely. Make sure you always tell them I'm proud of you. Like you messed up, good job. Like, as long as you learn from it, you don't assume they know.

SPEAKER_03: 24:15

Yeah, that was a problem they gotta hit, they need to hear it. Yeah, it's people our age though, that need to hear that. You know what I'm saying? They had issues with their parents not telling them that they love them or that they're proud of.

SPEAKER_02: 24:27

So and that kind of reminds me of like you just talking about trying to figure out trying different things. Like, I found out this dude was like a culinary expert, had no clue.

SPEAKER_03: 24:35

Oh, yeah, like that. He's a real chef.

SPEAKER_02: 24:37

Just like dipping your toe in all different ways of life and different things in your basket, you know what I'm saying? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 24:44

I know I done come home came home with some crazy ideas. You trying to trying this and trying that, but yeah, when I stopped trying stuff, that's when I was mentally just messed up. Yeah, yeah. Wasn't doing nothing. Yeah. Sitting in the house all day feeling sorry for myself, pitiful.

SPEAKER_00: 25:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 25:01

But when I'm out there, that's why I love to travel, because it's always uncomfortable. So I'm always out. It's uncomfortable. Well, I'm now I'm comfortable being uncomfortable. Right. I don't want my kids to get comfortable doing nothing or in the same place. You know what I mean? But yeah. Man, we this is good, man.

SPEAKER_04: 25:21

Yeah, man. I appreciate y'all having me on. Oh, yeah. This is something that needs to be done, you know what I'm saying? Amongst the fathers and just getting it out there, you know.

SPEAKER_01: 25:30

Any advice? I want to I want to hear your advice.

SPEAKER_04: 25:32

My advice here, man, just make sure you you keep the communication open. Make sure, you know what I'm saying, everybody's on one accord, one band, one s one man, it ain't a one-man show away, you know what I'm saying? Just make sure y'all, y'all keep it going, man. And as far as like just, you know, with the fatherhood thing, like you said, man, ain't no script. I can give you as much advice as you want to, but it may not work for you, it may not, but don't start trying.

SPEAKER_02: 26:01

Yeah. And that's one of your uh, speaking of no script. That's one dad, no script. Yeah, dad with no script.

SPEAKER_04: 26:06

Dad with no script, man. You know, y'all, we we we try to, you know, give back to the fathers, give them information or whatever, but like you said, man, it ain't no script. Yeah. Ain't no manual. Ain't no manual. Yeah. We we keep it going for now, you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_01: 26:21

And you lead by example, because another thing you should be saying is get you behind in the gym.

SPEAKER_02: 26:25

This man works out like, don't forget. He worked out like he's finna go to the league. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 26:30

I just got that in me, though. You done got me on my butt. Everybody, come on, man. I can't let this man just be out here.

SPEAKER_04: 26:37

You gotta get it in, man. You know what? Me talking about when you I ignore it. When you opened the the the gym up here, you know what I'm saying? Like, you know what I'm saying? That was like okay, let me let me get in here and and and get myself together a while, you know what I'm saying? I got tired of walking around, everybody like dang, do you eat? I'm 140 pounds, you know, soak it wet, you know.

SPEAKER_01: 26:57

But I appreciate that. Y'all just heard that, you know. I think I'm motivated, bro.

SPEAKER_02: 27:03

I think that might have been a shot up. Not a lie. Uh oh. I might be winning for soak it wet right now, bro.

SPEAKER_01: 27:08

This man hurt my feelings. He said earlier, he was like, Man, you you you probably biggest me and Chris.

SPEAKER_03: 27:14

No, no, no, no. That was a compliment. I was saying that we're really small. Oh, okay. Nah, it was really shot at us. He heard he heard. And we need to eat. Take it how you took it as well.

SPEAKER_01: 27:27

I didn't seem small. Yeah. Small. I went into the room and I rather started put doing some push-ups. Immediately. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 27:34

Nah, you had a healthy weight, man.

SPEAKER_04: 27:36

I'm underweight. Yeah, you're ain't bad, bro. What you trying to do though? You trying to muscle local? Right.

SPEAKER_01: 27:42

Yeah, I want I want to be cut. I don't want to be huge. I've been in my life, I've been as big as like 220, 230. But I've been as small as like 130, 140. Yeah. Oh wow. That's rash stick, though. Yeah, that's as an adult. And that ain't healthy either. Yeah, yeah. But right now I'm at a good 185, 190.

SPEAKER_04: 28:02

Yeah, that's what I'm trying to get to.

SPEAKER_01: 28:04

But I ain't got no problems eating. I stuff my face. I got problems of overeating. Like, I need to slow it down.

SPEAKER_02: 28:09

Right.

SPEAKER_01: 28:10

I eat it, just don't stick.

SPEAKER_02: 28:11

Got a dad tip, right? Yeah, dad tilt, man. What you got, right? What you got? Dad tilt. This better be good. We've been waiting for this shit. We've been waiting on this.

SPEAKER_03: 28:21

All right, dad tip, dad tip. We all ears. The real currency is not money when it comes to your kids. The real currency is time. Okay. So you the dad hustle is about balance, about going to get a bag, being able to be the head of the household to take care of your family, right? But you want to make sure that you spend quality time with them. Because especially when they little, they don't know how much you make. Nor do they care. They just want to know, is my dad in the stands? Is my dad coming to pick me up? Is my dad gonna read me this book? So my dad's tip today is just about knowing what the true currency is when it comes to fatherhood and it's time. It's not money.

SPEAKER_01: 29:07

Hey man, that's dope. Hey man, probably gonna be done. I told him that. That's not scripted. Like he just tell us what the tip was gonna be until he said, I got this tip. I got it. So I didn't know.

SPEAKER_02: 29:18

You know, with him we had no clue what they did. I'm telling you, I was scared.

SPEAKER_01: 29:21

I was like, I ain't know.

SPEAKER_04: 29:22

So to piggyback out that though, you know what I'm saying? Like if you a real busy person, schedule it in. Exactly. Schedule it in. Make it a priority. Make it a priority.

SPEAKER_01: 29:32

Hey, before we get out of here, fit check. Fit chat. Fit check. What you think? What you got, Tracy? So this is straight from Ghana, man. And I look at it straight from Ghana. All the top. These are my favorite. I mean the Jordan ones, they my favorite of all time. Not this color, just Jordan ones, period. Ain't no thing hot. What does that velvet top mean? What is that velvet? So I had to throw these on, so that's my fit for the what you looking like, D?

SPEAKER_04: 29:56

So I'm gonna go I'm gonna go exclusive Dion's. I'm gonna go 141 out of 500. Look at it, look at it. And then I feel like um, I'm feeling like uh Eddie Murphy, so I'll put on my level.

SPEAKER_03: 30:06

Nice.

SPEAKER_04: 30:06

And uh, you know, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go uh Atlanta, you know, because I'm from Atlanta. Repping where we're from.

SPEAKER_03: 30:12

What you looking like, Ron? Um, I got the Olive Dunks. Um they won't sell um at DTR. Talking about the shirt. I'm a grandfather, so I'm a budget. Let me not talk about that shit. Let me try to go about the shirt on. You know, this uh Coloroid button down. Uh listen, man, I got a daughter. That's why all my money goes, so I gotta be budget. But you can go budget and be clean though. I go last, I'm just doing the shit. Golf hat, though, because I play golf.

SPEAKER_02: 30:42

It's just a money, you know me. Light F Force Ones, yeah. Cool, you know, you know me. I'm a good one. You know, real laid back. I'll do something crazy in the next few episodes, but you know, just today, I kind of want to be like that.

SPEAKER_01: 30:52

We're proving that dad and my granddad here, we can dress. You're never too old, you might never too young, but we got this. All right, we ain't just dads. We more than dads. We keep it clean, we stay hustling, and we just do it things our way, man. Ain't no manual. Ain't no manual, manual, man. Sticking to them. Ain't no manual, the podcast. We'll see you next time. Yes, sir. Tap in, bro.